#HOW DOES HE HAVE THIS MUCH ENERGY AT 38

[somedaytakethetime]

He's feeling himself and I wish I could feel him too ✌🏻😩

[spadesolace]

drag me down: stockholm syndrome

synopsis: pham hanni isn't one to admit her feelings nor is she aware of her own feelings. but why does her heart aches watching you laugh with your friends or being physically affectionate with your friends?

words: 2.4k

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It didn’t take long for Y/N to realize that going out in the middle of the night only in her pajamas would get her sick. A cold didn’t kill anybody but she doesn’t want to risk getting others sick. Along with a fever that is quite high, it would be best to miss one day of school, despite hating it herself.

Hanni did not know that. After the short fight at Y/N’s place, she used her time to reflect and think things through. Why did she want to kiss her, what was in that atmosphere that in two consecutive nights led to her wanting some sort of affection from her rival? Seeing the empty chair next to her, no annoying Park Y/N next to her to annoy her. Shouldn’t it be bliss to have a bit of peace and quiet for once?

“She’s not going to class if that’s what you’re waiting for.” Chaewon showed her text with Y/N to Hanni, her personality being different in SNS. Who would have thought that seeing that had spark some flames in Hanni’s heart.

chaechae: why aren’t you in class?

ynn: im sick, body temp is 38 C with a bit of sniffles

chaechae: hehe sniffles, anyw gws!!! i’ll tell the girls

ynn: ily and thank u, chae

How is it that simple text makes Hanni’s blood boil to the point of possibly wanting to cause harm? This can’t be jealousy. It can’t be.

Within the entire day, where Y/N would sit, some people dared to sit next to Hanni. Most of which tried to copy her work, some were to converse with her, and then there was Jungwon who tried his best to keep the girl company. Neither of those made Hanni smile, laugh, it made her even more annoyed with everyone and everything. Jungwon still stayed after Hanni had told him off politely that he shouldn’t be transferring seats. Only to be rebutted.

“There’s no more seating arrangements, Hanni. Y/N isn’t here to take her seat so its free.” Hanni doesn’t have the energy to fight the guy when Chaewon was literally on a quick video call with Y/N.

“YAH! You told me to call you when it was time for you to take your meds.” She could only faintly see the sickly figure of Y/N who was laying on her bed with her laptop next to her. Would it be bad wanting to steal the phone for her to talk to Y/N?

Chaewon had turned around and placed her phone in front of Hanni, a smile on her face as she removed her earphones. The sickly figure on the screen looked at her with a small smile, her teasing smile that seemed so weak yet full of passion.

“I hope you’re not missing me much, Pham.” She may have looked annoyed but there was a hint of blush on her cheek.

“As if, Park.”

“Mhmm… Jungwon, get out of my seat.” Even if the voice was nasally, Hanni could easily distinguish Y/N’s voice whether it was joking or pissed. Jungwon would still be scared of Y/N either way, hurriedly saying goodbye and moving back to his place.

“Han.”

“Y/N.”

“Give the phone back to Chae.” Even if that was the end of that conversation, Hanni had a small smile on her face as Chaewon scolded Y/N. A bit of pain was still there but at least Hanni had managed to talk to you for a short while.

It didn’t slip past Minji to notice the change in demeanour of her best friend. One that rarely gets annoyed at people, to the point she would rather have her head chopped off if anyone would try to talk to her again. The small smile on her face was as clear as daylight, and watching the entire interaction just made Minji think about what had happened when the pair went out.

Hanni’s thoughts were interrupted by her phone, a message from Y/N. It was already rare to message each other that was not academics related, and upon seeing the message. Hanni’s thoughts had never been such a mess.

park y/n: why is he on my seat?

pham hanni: idk, he sat there bc you weren’t here

park y/n: ok.

Maybe it was the small interaction after half a day without Y/N annoying her or being in the same vicinity as her. Minji noticed the way Hanni had become calmer, no longer annoyed or had a hint of distaste. There’s something Park Y/N has that belongs to Hanni and it makes the gears in Minji’s head turn. Chaewon isn’t aware of anything happening behind her, let alone the burning gaze Hanni is sending her way.

“Oh shit.”

Hanni is oblivious to things, and Minji can easily work with it. A table filled with student council work with nothing but stress for the grad ball, Minji saw it as the perfect opportunity to simply ask questions. Between the two, Minji knows Hanni’s emotions better than anyone else; she’s the one that made Hanni realize her feelings for Jay was nothing but a crush, but with Jungwon - that was a mystery to Minji. She questioned why Hanni said yes to him courting her, or how she rarely spends time and effort with him.

Easing up to the conversation from grad ball preparations to asking Hanni who she’ll go with only to be answered that left Minji confused.

“Not Jungwon, that’s for sure.”

“What? He hasn’t asked you yet?” Hanni shook her head as she cleared the paperwork for the grad ball, finalising the sponsorship with Park Food Corporations.

“Y/N sorta asked me.” Confusion, concern, every other emotion as Minji processes every word that left Hanni’s mouth. How did Y/N even ask her out, or how Hanni agreed to it?

“So… during your date with Y/N?”

“Not a date.”

Minji could only look at Hanni with pure confusion. Being highly aware that both Hanni and Y/N were left alone the other day – according to Ms. Park Jihyo herself, they were even holding hands. Which makes Minji question if they’re dating behind everyone’s back or something else is going on.

Hanni’s mind has been a mess after the dinner at the Park estate. How their parents seem to like the pair together, even being asked to go to the graduation ball with Y/N. What is there to Y/N that makes her blood boil but at the same time miss her and get so irritated with everything else that does not relate to her. Even Jungwon can’t ease her mind, let alone she now sees him as some sort of hindrance to her abilities and goals in the future.

“Earth to Phampham? Helloooo?” Hanni shook her head, looking at the papers in front of her then to Minji who looked at her concerned. Park Food Corporations in her handwriting with the signature of their representative of the company below. All of her thoughts – from when she wakes up to laying in bed staring in the ceiling – all she could think of is Park Y/N.

“You good? You’ve been out of it for a while.” Minji checks her temperature, nothing out of the ordinary, just Hanni spacing out more than usual.

“I’m good, just tired.”

“Whatever you say, phampham. Just know that I’m here if you wanna talk.”

Hanni nodded, watching Minji pack up and leave her alone in the room. Alone with her thoughts. Alone with the scene of Y/N kissing her on repeat. Alone with the thought of Park Y/N.

Hanni slowly became more irritated with the people around her, especially after Y/N had come back and asked Minji if she could sit next to Chaewon. It wasn’t that bad at first, maybe the two had a lot to catch up on while she was gone but she could have asked Hanni regarding assignments and extracurriculars missed and not her friend. Minji taking notice of how Hanni easily snaps and loses focus as she watches Y/N across from her wearing a mask and slowly showing more signs of energy compared to the day she had come back. It was evident that Hanni was being avoided as if she carried the plague once Y/N had come back.

“That’s the third pencil you broke this week – are you sure you’re fine?” Hanni was not ok, whatever she’s feeling or whatever her thoughts of planning a murder and getting away with it. She is definitely not ok.

Even at lunch or when the pair lock the classroom for break, not a single conversation or an utterance of spite or hatred was thrown at Hanni. Silence. Like she doesn’t exist and the goal was to get away from her as soon as possible and it pains her to see Y/N smile at someone else other than her. There’s still the rival aspect but after what had happened, after the kiss, shouldn’t it be addressed that there is more to it than meets the eye.

In the table quite far from them sat Y/N’s circle, seeing the girl laughing at the things being thrown around the table, Hanni wishes she could be the reason for that stupid smile on your face. Watching Chaewon lean on her shoulder and watching the slight public display of affection, her right eye started twitching. Planning a murder in her mind as she watches how affectionate the pair is, she has never noticed how affectionate the girl is not until she realized how much space she occupies in Hanni’s mind (and possibly her heart).

“Do you think if I asked for a bottle of chloroform from our lab technician, I’d be a suspect in a possible murder case?” It was out of the blue, her entire friend group looked at her as if she’s insane, following her line of sight, it made sense that it would be directed at Y/N.

“Let your rival live, I’m just here for the plot of it.” Haerin watches how the table at the back seems to have its life back within the two days that Y/N was gone. It was a given fact that she was the sunshine along with Eunchae within the group and missing that meant silence and no one to tease Hanni to.

“Huh? Since when did Chaewon and Y/N become a couple?” Minji and Hanni looked at Danielle as if she had stated the most absurd thing aside from the possible murder case that Pham Hanni is planning in the back of her mind.

“They’re not!” Danielle, Haerin, and Hyein looked at the pair in shock - aside from Minji and her obvious crush on the feisty girl that she sits next to. It was the fact that Hanni’s reaction regarding the possible relationship was what made everyone lose it. Even she was shocked by what she had said.

“Oh my god – you like Pa-” Hanni covered Hyein’s mouth before she could finish her sentence. Minji assumed that was the case after the whole call incident and the graduation ball date. With the reaction like that, surely Hanni likes Y/N.

“That… explains… a lot.” The group looked at the eldest as the initial shock of the revelation finally sinks in to everyone. Pushing Jungwon away, getting snappy, and it’s all because of a girl.

“Shut it, Minji. That does not explain anything at all.”

“I thought you were straight.”

The group laughed at Haerin’s comment, only for Hanni to smack the cat-like girl. 

She doesn’t like Y/N, she’s merely intrigued by the girl that used to sit next to her and always consumes coffee as if her life depends on it. The girl that wears rings all the time and fidgets with it whenever she’s thinking or nervous - or how her uniform is always a mess and it’s her job to fix it while she gets a scolding from her. The girl that lowkey has anime merchandise keychains on her bag and no one would immediately get it unless they watch it. The very same girl that is the daughter to a rich family that she could possibly be the next owner of.

No, she doesn’t like Park Y/N. I’m in denial.

Hanni wonders how she ended up here, sitting in a cafe far from the counter holding a cup of hot chocolate while acting as if she’s reading a book but in reality she is just observing her rival preparing coffee.

Even in the cafe, she would go lengths to avoid Hanni such as making Sakura take her order. She didn’t expect for Hanni to be at the cafe, let alone she never knew that Hanni goes out and not stay in her room to study all day – it’s weirder to see Hanni out of nowhere than seeing a teacher during the weekend during normal day to day things.

“I’m guessing that’s Hanni.” Sakura leans on the counter as she watches the supposed owner of the cafe clean up. Seeing her ears slowly turn a shade of red simply from the mention of the girl’s name and tensing simply by looking at the one of the few customers they have during early in the morning.

“Can’t believe Chae already spilled you the details.”

“In exchange, she did admit to liking Minji. I think that’s a win-win scenario.”

Y/N chuckled at Sakura’s comment, it was deemed fair that Chaewon would know as to why there was a need to switch seats with Minji. In exchange, both of them admitted to liking their seatmates and partners for the project. The difference is that Chaewon isn’t fighting for the attention of her crush against multiple other people; Pham Hanni is still in a somewhat relationship with Jungwon.

Hanni doesn’t know why watching Y/N laughing and being playful with her coworker makes her heart hurt. She has Jungwon but why does her heart scream for the girl that has been ignoring her for almost a week. How she wishes that she could run into her arms and kiss her, but now she’s watching her leaning towards her coworker with ash gray hair that she believes is the sweetest barista but in her eyes it's someone who wants Park Y/N.

“You’re really playing with fire, Y/NN.”

“Unnie, let’s just see if she’ll do something with her feelings,”

Park Y/N, look at what you’ve done to me. Is this what they call jealousy? If it is, Pham Hanni hates it.

She hates that she’s falling for Park Y/N.

[misskattylashes]

Just ruminating after @thelastshadowpuppies post about Alex’s t shirt and how Miles and Alex really are opposites....

Alex – wears clothes until they fall apart, seems to have things in his wardrobe that date back to 2009!

Miles – Mr Fast Fashion (I don’t mean in the Primark sense) always changing his style and buying countless new and vintage clothes.

Alex – has pretty much worked with the same group of people his entire career, not just the other Monkeys but people like Zackery Michael, Ben Chappell, James Ford and Richard Ayoade

Miles – has worked with tons of different people like Lana Del Rey, Jamie T, Imelda May, Corinne Bailey Rae, Jaded Hearts Club, Alex (obvs), Jack Savoretti, Yungblud...to name but a few

Alex – when not being ‘Alex Turner’ totally hides from public view. ‘recents’ with fans seem to have a vetting process because they often appear weeks after the event, and even his friends on social media are not allowed to post him (this does not include children’s drawings)

Miles – loves to be visible, sharing a lot of his life on social media, allowing his friends to post pics of him.

Alex – exudes sensual feminine energy and yet at the same time is masculine.

Miles – excudes sexual masculine energy and yet at the same time has a gentleness about him.

On the surface it’s hard to understand why they get on so well, but I guess they bring something to each other, professionally, working with Alex taught Miles how to sing in a softer voice, whle Miles taught Alex not everything has to be serious and to embrace his playful side.

Personally, there is still something of the outsider about both of them. Even today in 2024 as 38 year old men, they remind me of those boys at school people were a bit wary of – Alex because he was so quiet and yet seemed to watch everyone and would have sudden outbursts of strange behaviour, and Miles because he was hyper and never concentrated, and on the surface confident beyond his years, and other kids would find him intimidating. Alex would probably hero worship him because he was the sort of person he wished he could be....and Miles would love little Alex because he had the same weird interests and thoughts Miles did but was too insecure to admit and hid it with cockiness...

And there starts a whole Milex AU YA fic....lol

[paper-starz]

i was so surprised by the lack of AUs in the My Friendly Neighborhood fandom! So, me and a few discord buddies decided to create our own! The Opposite Au! (Or the OPP AU for short)

its basically a personality swap with a few story changes!

(click read more for bonus doodles + character descriptions!)

NORMAN

Norman is THE BEST character on 'My Friendly Neighborhood' and he WILL remind you constantly!

He has like a bajillion fans and friends that are definitely NOT made up! Of course he has fans and friends from all over the world what do you mean he doesn't???

He's a bit of a diva... ok "bit" is an understatement. He genuinely believes that he deserves to be treated better than anybody else! He proudly displays a star on his door as a symbol of his supposed stardom!

There's a blurry line between fiction and reality for Norman. He believes his on-screen friendship with Lenard translates to real life, despite their mutual mistreatment of each other. Lenard is definitely NOT Norman's friend. (In fact, most of the puppets in this AU despise each other)

Incredibly overdramatic. He once laid down on the floor for 3 hours straight because someone ate the last chocolate chip cookie.

Norman is still very lonely.

JUNEBUG

Much more calmer and introverted than her OG counterpart. She would rather stay inside reading books than play outside with her so-called 'friends'.

She is the resident bookworm of the neighborhood, incredibly smart too!

Her demeanor is highly apathetic; even if chaos erupted in the neighborhood, she wouldn't even lift her eyes from the pages of her book.

She also speaks in a very monotone voice.

She still very much hates responsibility.

She and Norman have a sort of pseudo rivalry with each other, even though it mostly affects Norman. While others react to Norman's antics, Junebug's indifference to it annoys him the most.

Even if she's not currently reading books, she's usually staring off into space or thinking about something. Ms. Lilianna is not fond of her due to her inattentiveness during one of her lessons.

Has a horrible habit of sneaking up to people and scaring them due to the fact that she walks VERY quietly.

MS. LILIANNA

It's MISS Lilianna. Not Lilianna, MISS Lilianna! She is your teacher and you WILL show her some respect!

Miss. Lilianna is incredibly strict and uptight. If you so much as even breathe loudly she will get furious with you!

She does genuinely love teaching! She teaches math, science, english, history... but her favorite lesson to teach are RULES!

Currently, she has 874 rules in her rule book. Here are some examples:

22. No talking while she's talking, that’s rude. 23. No chewing gum 24. no smiling 25. no breathing too loudly 26. no running 27. no jumping 28. no laughing 29. no living 30. no screaming 32. no playtime 33. no snack time 34. no lunchtime 35. definitely no nap time. 36. No blinking more than once per minute! 37. You must sit at a perfect 90 degree angle 38. No writing with anything other than a blue ballpoint pen with a 0.735 mm tip!

Her favorite rule is rule #17: "Everyday is Teacher's Day!" You must give Ms. Lilianna gifts and hugs to show how much you appreciate her!

The most important rule is the "No complaining about the rules" rule! Or else you'll be sent to the principals office! Which is her. She is the principal, the custodian, the janitor, every and any faculty member of the school!

...Except for the Art teacher. Please don't show her any art, she will not understand anything. She lacks any and every sort of creativity.

Her favorite weapon to use is the classic ruler! Light weight AND teacher-y

Baldi's basics lookin' ass

LENARD

Anxious Dog Energy right there.

Poor Lenard is very shy and super self conscious. Like Junebug, he would rather stay alone than be anywhere NEAR people.

He has a bit of a stutter.

He is so anxious, that he's developed several self-defense mechanisms!

He will either SCREAM BLOODY MURDER

Or he will bite you

Or a combination of both.

Sometimes he'll bite for no reason whatsoever!

Lenard is TERRIFIED of being watched, especially while practicing. Memories of him being taunted and teased during the show's production still haunt him.

He's developed severe scopophobia because of this.

He will usually sing and dance in private. Though, he's not a very good singer nor a very good dancer.

GEORGE

The epitome of "I hate my job."

This George really hates being a taxi driver. I mean, wouldn't you hate being stuck as a taxi driver for the rest of your life?

After MFN got cancelled and the puppets got abandoned, George ripped out the 'T' in his taxi cab hat. He tried ripping out more from his taxi uniform, but stopped since his uniform were the only clothes that he's got.

He's now stuck in exitensial dread. What IS George now that he's not a taxi driver? He might've hated being one, but that was all that he's got.

He hates any and all vehicles with 4 wheels or more. All the taxi cabs in the studio are smashed, even the wheels have been taken out!

He still likes rats. However, it's mostly a "appreciate from afar" type of ordeal. The rats in the studio are vicious little beasts.

He once saw a puppet get too close to the rats. Let's just say that the puppet is now a pile of cotton fluff.

The only time he was genuinely happy during the show's production was when they were filming the Pirate's Cove film. It was his first experience of being anything other than his taxi driver role. He still has his pirates hook and he would fight you tooth and nail if you try and steal it from him

AND THATS EVERYONE (for part 1 ofc)

Thank you to my friends who definitely helped with this AU (you know who you are!)

Oh! And please click the images for better quaity!

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Ortho Shroud - Apprentice Chef Vignette

"Master Chef"

[Cafeteria – Judging Venue]

Master Chef ― Ortho Version ～Let’s Make Loco Moco 1～

―A short while before cooking begins

Ortho: ―Energy inspection complete. All functions, including the cooking and processing units, are operating normally.

Ortho: Everything activates without a hitch, great. I tried to make my exterior look similar to my brother's outfit when he took the class, does it look weird at all?

Azul: It looks fantastic on you, Ortho-san. However, I never expected to see you take an interest in cooking… I'm a little taken aback.

Ortho: It's only recently piqued my interest. Sometimes I hear my classmates swapping kitchen horror stories, you see.

Ortho: When someone said, "cooking is way too high level for newbies," it suddenly made me want to try to win against it… Which resulted in this gear being developed.

Azul: I see. And if you are to do a trial run of that gear here, the Master Chef course would be the best opportunity to do so.

Ortho: Exactly! I knew you'd get it, Azul-san.

Ortho: Not only can this gear cook food, but it's built with many other functions to manage proper nutrition or count calories and the like.

Ortho: I plan on getting the expert chef to check out my functions and test out what all would be useful for cooking!

Azul: I can see you're raring to go. Then, I'll wish us both luck.

Ortho: Yeah!

[Kitchen]

Ghost Chef: We'll have you make the "Loco Moco" dish for us today, Ortho-kun.

Ghost Chef: First, we'll have to prep the onions that'll be mixed into the hamburger meat. Do you know how to mince?

Ortho: Okay, I got this!

Ortho: ―Begining cooking procedures. Activating the Cooking Gear's Food Slicer Unit.

[whirrr… fsshhh…!]

Ghost Chef: H-HUUUUUUUUUUH!? HE TRANSFORMED!!?

Ortho: First, I need to adjust the shape so it will be easier to prepare. I need to swing vertically over the onion and… slice it in half!

Ortho: Great, looks like my knife is sharp enough! Umm, since this is for mixing in with hamburger meat…

Ortho: ―Executing command: "Target ingredient: Onion / Processing Method: Mince / Configuration: 3mm Squares"

Ghost Chef: W-Wow… The onion was finely chopped up in no time flat…!

Ortho: …Whew, I've finished with the onion. Will these be sufficient?

Ghost Chef: Y-Yeah, it's cut expertly, but… What exactly is that round blade that came out of your glove…?

Ortho: I took an industrial-grade cutter and downsized it so it could be used in cooking.

Ortho: It releases water as it cuts. This removes the necessity to clean both the blade and the ingredient.

Ghost Chef: You've sure come up with something interesting. But this is just too far removed from traditional cooking methods… Hmm.

Ortho: Different tools shouldn't cause any deviation from the recipe, though… Or should I have used a knife?

Ghost Chef: Well, I guess for your case, you have to cook like that… So I'll make an exception this time.

Ortho: Yay～! Okay then, I'm ready for the next part of the class!

Ortho: ―Activating Heat Sensor Camera. Calculating the temperature of the stir-fried onions… 38.2°C. Current temperature is 41°C lower than last measurement.

Ortho: According to my database, the best temperature range to continue cooking at after letting the dish simmer down is between 38～44°C. Chef, can we continue with the next step?

Ghost Chef: Sure, that's fine. So, next, take the ground meat, onions, and spices to form your hamburgers.

Ortho: Understood! ―Executing Command: Deploy Hand-Coating Gloves.

Ghost Chef: Woah! And now suddenly there are gloves attached to your hands. Is this another one of your technological applications?

Ortho: I'm using something similar to shrink wrap for this. It'd be pretty tough to do maintenance if my joints got dirtied.

Ghost Chef: Ah, that I can understand. It's just like how it's troublesome to have to wash everything that climbed up inside of an eggbeater.

Ortho: I thought as much. In the future, I'd like to equip some functions that would handle this effectively, but… This time, I want to try to knead it by hand

Ghost Chef: And why is that?

Ortho: It sounds like when my brother took this course, he didn't like this specific task.

Ortho: So I thought it'd be good to know the source of his stress, so I could factor that into the eventual kneading function…

[squish…]

Ortho: Hmm, maybe he didn't like how it felt when he touched it? Probably means if I can automate this task, everything'll be solved!

Ghost Chef: Sounds like you've figured out your answer, Ortho-kun.

Ghost Chef: By the way, your brother is Idia-kun, right? Has he changed at all since taking the course?

Ortho: Hmm, I don't think anything changed. He still doesn't really care about food at all…

Ortho: …Oh yeah! Maybe I can use this Cooking Gear to help improve his eating habits.

Ghost Chef: Eh!? You made all these functions without actually knowing what you'd use it for in the first place?

Ortho: Ehehe, so actually… I just made this because I wanted to "win at cooking!" So I didn't really have a particular use for it in mind.

Ghost Chef: Well, I guess that's a good enough reason to start. Also, even if it is an afterthought, I'm glad that you have a goal to strive for now.

Ortho: Yeah. Alright… Now I have to start improving this gear so I can make food that my brother'll want to eat!

[Kitchen]

Master Chef ― Ortho Version ～Let’s Make Loco Moco 2～

Ghost Chef: While we wait for the hamburger to cook, you can prepare the toppings. We'll garnish with cabbage and mini tomatoes for this dish.

Ghost Chef: The cabbage needs to be shredded, so… Are you able to adjust your cutting size in 0.1mm increments?

Ortho: By design, I should be able to. I would like to test it for myself, so could you tell me the specific size you're looking for?

Ghost Chef: Then, if you can, slice at 1.6mm.

Ortho: Got it!

Ortho: ―Executing command: "Target ingredient: Cabbage / Processing Method: Slice / Thickness Configuration: 1.6mm"

Ghost Chef: Woooah, very good! It was surprising when I first saw all this, but now it's really nice to see how quick and accurately you can cut.

Ortho: Simple tasks like these are a machine's strong point, after all! …Okay, I'm done! I wonder how the hamburger is coming along?

Ortho: ―Activating Heat Sensor Camera. Frying pan is holding steady at 16°C. Hamburger internal temperature: 34.5°C.

Ghost Chef: That's a pretty handy function, too. You don't need to take the lid off the frying pan to check how it's cooking, so there's no drop in temperature.

Ghost Chef: …Ah, oops. I let myself get a little too distracted watching your really neat functions.

Ghost Chef: Normally, it would take more time to prepare the toppings, but you're moving along smoothly.

Ortho: Ah! Then, while we wait for the hamburger to cook, can you explain to me more about the toppings?

Ortho: Cause toppings are kind of like power-ups from a video game, right? You don't really need them but it's better to have them.

Ortho: That's why I bet if I could know which toppings are the most filling, I could make my cooking even more efficient.

Ghost Chef: Hmm, that's a difficult question. It can vary depending on what you have on hand, and what you feel like using.

Ghost Chef: For example, I wanted to make sure there was nutritional balance, so this dish uses vegetables as a topping.

Ortho: If we were to remove the vegetables from this recipe… The vitamin intake would be reduced by 75%. It really would lose that nutritional balance.

Ghost Chef: In the past, I would serve it as a salad on the side, but there were so many kids who wouldn't even touch it, because they didn't want veggies.

Ortho: I get it, you revised the process fundamentally to help resolve your problem. I think that's a very reasonable method.

Ghost Chef: Haha, thank you. Yes, I'm glad I changed it up like this.

Ortho: Changes, hm… If I want to be able to add that as a possible function to the Cooking Gear, I'll have to gather a lot more data.

Ortho: If I can learn to swap out ingredients, it might help in dealing with my brother's bad eating habits.

Ortho: The more I learn about cooking, the more I can see all sorts of possible challenges, just like in a video game.

Ortho: ―And finally, I set the egg on top… Done! It's made to look like the dish I saw as the top hit in an image search.

Ghost Chef: Nice, you've plated it so beautifully and deliciously. I guess it's time for you to take it to the judging venue, then.

Ortho: Okay! I can't wait to see how the judge will react～

[Cafeteria – Judging Venue]

Leona: Ughh… What a pain. Why do I need to be a judge for this Master Chef thing…?

Ortho: Sorry to keep you waiting! Oh, I see you were the one to order this dish, then.

Ortho: Here you go, this is the Loco Moco you requested! Please, enjoy!

Ortho: I want to use your assessment of the dish to help improve my Cooking Gear, so please be as candid as possible.

Leona: …Hey. Why're there vegetables in this loco moco? There wasn't any last time I ordered it.

Ortho: I heard this was a change made to help people eat their veggies. Great, right?

Leona: …Tch, way to do something completely unnecessary.

[bite, chew, chew, chew…]

Ortho: I followed the recipe exactly as it was written, so there shouldn't be any issues with the flavor… What do you think?

Leona: The hamburger and the gravy sauce taste fine. But because of all the veggies you threw in there, it shouldn't even get a single point.

Ortho: Ehhh, why!? I made sure to follow the recipe and throw in the right amount, size, and cooking time for all the ingredients!

Leona: Why should I care? All that matters is the judge's opinion, yeah? The recipe means nothin' if it don't suit my taste.

Ortho: …So without considering any of the general judging criteria, this dish "doesn't taste good" to you?

Leona: Basically. But hey, maybe you coulda gotten high marks if you'd just left the veg out like it's always been made.

Ortho: By adding the vegetables, it gave the dish a better nutritional balance. But Leona-san would have preferred no vegetables…

Leona: Geez, can't believe you'd just ruin a good meal like that. Since the judging's over, I'm outta here.

Ortho: Ah, he left…  I can't really understand how someone could say a dish that satisfies nutritional needs "doesn't taste good."

Ghost Chef: Leona-kun must really hate vegetables, if he couldn't get past even this small addition.

Ortho: Ah, I should have asked why he hates vegetables to help me with figuring out how to change up recipes!

Ghost Chef: Ortho-kun… Are you actually happy with that result?

Ortho: Yes! The more data I can gather on any issues, the better I can improve my Cooking Gear!

Ghost Chef: Well, I guess I'm glad you're not sad after hearing that, but… Why does that make you that excited?

Ortho: Leona-san was already unhappy with the dish even before tasting it. That means he had already decided it wouldn't taste good just from looking at it.

Ortho: The challenge rating just shot up, now that I have to keep an eye on visual aesthetics, taste and nutrition… Of course that gets me super pumped up!

Ortho: I might be a long way away from being able to tackle my brother's bad eating habits, but… I'll definitely do my best to make my Cooking Gear even better!

Requested by Anonymous.

[rinbylin]

top 5 dihua moments

HELLO ohhh goddd if i really really really have to pick... I'LL TRY (in tears)

in chronological order of the episodes:

(1) “你这个人最大的弱点就是喜欢当英雄。一个剑客不该有弱点。” your greatest weakness is that you like being a hero. a swordsman should be without weaknesses. (ep 1)

i'm as in love with the entire donghai scene as much as the next person but this dialogue is particularly special to me. so it was the first one i pinned down for this list. no hesitation. :)

it's a cornerstone of dihua's relationship; the thesis of lxy/llh's and their joint narrative. it prompts the deconstruction of the staple wuxia ideas of 侠 xia and heroism - which is what i really love lhl for. and dfs being the one to deliver this incredibly crucial and significant line is 10/10. he knew lxy even better than lxy did. he is the bearer and catalyst of lhl's story, lxy/llh's story.

"your greatest weakness is that you like being a hero. a swordsman should be without weaknesses." so what does it even mean to be a hero. is it more important to be a hero than being human. and i will become human. i am human and always have been. and i have weaknesses - i cannot win against fate, i am dying. but what ever is even wrong with being weak? being human is to have weaknesses. so i guess it's no wonder for the narrative to come in a full circle with dfs coming in possession of a weakness and be trapped in it. no longer the killer of di fortress. he's just a human being.

and llh bringing this up again in ep 11 feels to me that he had been carrying these words with him over the past 10 years. bicha and the battle have transformed him physically. but i like to think that dfs's words had an important role to play in an even deeper level of change.

all it took was this one scene to sell to me that this would probably be the kind of narrative i love.

(2) reunion in the woods (ep 8)

it's just so fucking good like literally every dihua scene. who doesn't love a good post-divorce first meeting scene. there's just a lot to chew on. most of all, llh just had to keep reminding dfs how well he knew dfs. we know the moon has always been this bright, alright. AND they were threatening each other. very sexy of them.

(3) whatever the heck was going between them in cailianzhuang arc (ep 11)

truly nothing brings out old married couple + parents vibes better than an inquisitive boy accusing you two of being up to something secretive behind his back. both their guilty expressions. :3 also dfs being the first person huahua goes to when he doesn't want to be alone. huahua being exceptionally chatty around dfs and dfs has no problem entertaining him. :3 they're totally on the same wavelength without having to say anything to each other and this arc brings it out so well.

(4) 腊月二十七 donghai anniversary wedding night (ep 38)

this is the last one i came up for the list after fighting a whole war in my mind over which 5 of the 100000 beloved scenes to pick. hate being predictable but. you just HAVE to give it to it. how do you NOT pick this for a top 5. all the 10 million other top 5 dihua scenes just had to make space for the anniversary scene. :'(

if i had to be even more specific, i think the scene of them in bed most likely takes the cake for me. llh literally saved dfs's life and helped him to become the stronger person he has always wanted to be. and perhaps no other moment exhibits the complementary yin and yang nature of their powers/energies in a more illustrative and palpable way. undershirts in bed just hits different from being fully clothed and one person literally having to keep the other person alive by touch...and this time it's llh for dfs despite the whole time it's dfs who was dedicated to keep llh alive. they have no lack of scenes that exhibit how in sync they are intellectually, and this is peak physical intimacy and tenderness, added with a brush with death/mortality yeah...

(5) llh/lxy's farewell to dfs (ep 40)

playing cheat here by combining two different moments :) but they are essentially connected. llh/lxy had to leave. and since it really had to be that way, i'm glad dfs was on his mind until the very end. what more can one ask for. there is really nothing more dear and tender in the world to be thought of

-

tl;dr: /blows kisses to every dihua moment

[liquidorcard]

Lily can't keep her own "Sympathetic" Villains rules Straight: Anthony Gramuglia edition

See Crim's edition for the rules and outlines. Here we go.

Lily's Response to Ant:

Lily's probably going to get a significantly worse score on this one because me and Ant I think have similar media diets. We begin:

1. In the book, 100% he is THE villain. The movie not as much. Still though, I think movie Hammond more than fit's Lily's criteria. -1 life found a way

2. We already went over this (yes I am still writing p.3 of my Magneto post.) -1 Anthro cow delivering your children

3. Kyubey's keeping the universe from ending Lily. How could you get closer to having a point than that? -1 timeline

4. See Crim's post. He does fail #2. Again though, by Lily's original parameters this was a valid entry. But I have to give her the point. +1 spider gets it's legs ripped off

5. I bet she thought this was clever. -1 gate keeper.

6.N/A

7. I don't even know what she's talking about here. -1

8. Del Toro sends his regards. -1 Nerdy fish man.

9. LILY HASN'T SEEN THE BROADWAY SMASH HIT PLANET OF THE APES THE MUSICAL, STARRING TROY MCCLURE!? For shame! -1 (has anyone else watched that movie recently? I'm not saying it's aged poorly, but like, it is profoundly unintentionally hilarious, watching it in the modern day. I know this was like, the whole thing back then-- leading men who were too cool for school, but Taylor is such a fucking asshole. Cornelius is the real hero of the film, and everyone bullies him for not matching their lunatic energy. #justiceforCornelius #GeorgeTaylorisoverparty)

10. N/A (Trekkies don't try me.)

11. N/a

12. N/A (I mean I feel like I've probably seen the whole Mummy franchise just through memes at this point but. Lily's reasoning here is fucking asinine though-- as per usually Ant us uniquely getting her goat.)

13. This is actually the first example that breaks rule #3. Sorry fam I love Elfen Lied too, but it's a bit of a hot mess. +1 dead puppy

14. Scar is a dead ringer to Lily's criteria. She straight up just didn't have a pot to piss in, so she just wrote "no." -1 Dwarf in a flask

15. For the record, my boomer mom has seen Ghost in the Shell. The movie anyway. -1 body on loan

16. I watched this as a kid but can't really remember anything about it, so, I gotta put it as N/A.

17. This might actually be the first time I've seen anyone else memtion this movie . . . But still. -1 burnt wheelchair

18. Not plus ultra. -1 for all

19. Oh fuck off Lily. Glass houses. -1 jutsu

20. Sai, Crim and Ant spoke pretty extensively about this one. -1 angry hair raise

21. This one too. -1 demon pig

22. Yes she is. -1 dad

23. See Crim's list. -1 Prisoner 24601

24. N/A

25. Read ANY book, Lily. -1 absent godly parent.

26. I've only read the first one. N/A

27. Lily's reason here is bullshit but I haven't seen Columbo either. N/A

28. Why not Lily? -1 Jimbo

29. YES SHE FUCKING IS LILY. Just because in a modern context her story is a lot more tragic doesn't mean she isn't intended to be a villain. Lily made up the rule "has a point," but if they have an iron clad one she just declares them not a villain. -1 head

30. OBJECTION! NOW YOU REMEMBER VILLAIN AND ANTAGONIST ARENT TRUE SYNONYMS FOR EACH OTHER!? -1 Lily if you could just ONCE try to engage with a media discussion honestly.

31. N/A. I'll get around to watching it.

32. Not in Dracula Untold. -1 Damn Luke Evans looks like he was cloned from Orlando Bloom. I can't tell those two apart.

33. DIFFERENT DRACULAS. HOLY SHIT. -1 Lily this rational is so piss poor it's embarrassing. Even for you.

34. N/A

35. Isn't he in Kingdom Hearts? -1 Ah Ha Ha Ha

36. Another non-surprise. -1 traveler on his way home.

37. I haven't played enough Kurby to know why Meta Knight is a sympathetic villain. N/A

38. I've played enough to know Lily's right on this one. +1 Deddeddeedeeededededeeedede

39. A) several characters on both Crim and Ants' lists have been protagonists. B) IT'S FUCKING COMMON POPCULTURE KNOWLEDGE DONKEY KONG WAS THE ANTAGONIST IN THE FIRST APPEARANCE OF BOTH MARIO AND DK. -1 Lily I'm fucking shocked you don't know this. Genuinely. That's saying something, considering it's you.

40. Solid Lily continues to be the worst one. -1 LIQUIDDDDDDDD

41. Yes she is. Her point is the magic is what keeps her fucking family safe. -1 gift

42. You'd probably like this movie actually, Lily. Not the book, but. Or maybe not, there's no incest lesbians I guess. -1 sexy tree

43. I'm going to give Lily the point to maintain consistency that mind-manipulation doesn't count as "a point." Before he put on the crown he's not really even an antagonist, so. He IS an example of a sympathetic villain, however. +1

44. THERE ARE OTHER ANIMALS ON THIS LIST. Another one who's spot on, so she can't figure out how to even pretend to argue against it. -1 Beauty who killed the beast

45. GODZILLA ISN'T LITERALLY A NUKE. -1 pop culture jokes don't substitute proper media analysis

46. The Kaiju Lily. Her name is the title of the film. It's not Ant's fault You're too lazy to Google shit. -1 Viking Relic

(Biollante would have been my personal pick for sympathetic Kaiju. And her dad. She would have broken Lily's first rule since she's probably not aware of exactly what's happened to her, but. Her father at least fits Lily's criteria. A lot of the Kaiju are sympathetic though.)

47. This is a perfect example as to why Lily's rules are ridiculous. John Kramer is, in my opinion, outrageously unjustified in what he does. He follows her rules though. Having a bad point is still having a point. How "well written" he is wildly different depending on the movie, but because he's at least well written sometimes I'm counting him. -1 foot

48. You haven't read Paradise Lost Lily. I know you haven't. -1 Satan crying for everything he's lost

49. God Lily I wish you'd actually read something for once because this is an even better example as to why your rules are a joke. -1 Facist Worm King

50. This is a specific example. -1 tears, it's a waist of good suffering.

LILY'S FINAL SCORE: 19/50

38% - F

Got wrong: 24

Got right: 2

Removing the ones I haven't seen:

19/39

48% - F

Removing the ones Lily hasn't seen:

15/37

40% - F

Removing the ones we both haven't seen:

2/26

7% - F

[ironstrange1991]

Defender Strange Random Headcanons

Word Count: 0,800k

Warnings: None.

A/N: Headcanons written picturing the same reader from my previous Defender fics. Let me know if you want headcanons for the other Stephens

1. Defender is definitely a winter person, but since the accident he feels a lot of pain in his hands on cold days.

2. Spooky season is his favorite time of the year. Secretly loves Halloween but he won't admit it because he thinks halloween is a kid's thing.

3. Loves to read. He can spend all night reading. Likes to read novels but prefers to read his magic books. Always ready to learn something new.

4. Forests on rainy days is probably his favorite landscape. He would definitely live in a cabin in the middle of a forest in a tiny town if he could.

5. He's always working, but when he can rest he'll want to spend all day cuddling on the couch with you, eating junk food and watching your shitty tv shows.

6. Loves classical music, but also enjoys classic rock and other music genres. Loves Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds.

7. Amazing cook. Defender can cook any type of food with incredible ease.

8. Watch recipe videos secretly to learn how to cook new dishes to impress you.

9. Writes poetry.

10. Presents you with poems he writes for you.

11. Wears glasses to read, but is terrified you'll see him with them on.

12. Meditates when is very anxious for a mission.

13. Reads to calm you down when you're having an anxiety crisis or just because you asked him to. Will usually read until you fall asleep.

14. He doesn't usually have nightmares, but when he does, he loses sleep and ends up in the library reading.

15. Has nighmares where he's losing you.

16. He is sure he's not strong enough to live without you anymore.

17. It's a light sleeper. Sleeps on his stomach when sleeping alone in bed, but prefers to sleep with you in his arms, usually using his chest as a pillow and caressing his hair.

18. Very romantic and affectionate.

19. Kissing your forehead is his favorite way of saying he loves you without having to say the words.

20. Loves children. Is an amazing father.

21. Takes too many risks in his missions trying to protect everybody else.

22. He is a very serious man.

23. Thinks very carefully before saying anything. Reason always above feelings. His smiles and laughter are reserved only for you.

24. He's definitely a know-it-all, but tries not to come off as arrogant. He doesn't always succeed.

25. Very organized. Hates things out of place.

26. Hates having his things taken away from where he left them.

27. Very strict. He lives by his rules and expects everyone else to follow them too, especially you.

28. Loves to teach. He's a wonderful teacher, but since becoming the Sorcerer Supreme, doesn't teach anymore.

29. Likes animals, but believes the Sanctum is not the place for them, so won't allow you to have them.

30. He's not as vain as he was before the accident, but he spends a lot of time grooming his hair and beard. He's always flawless.

31. Before the accident he used to work out, but now the missions are enough to drain his energy.

32. Feels guilty for spending too much time working.

33. He loves that you take care of him when he arrives tired from his missions.

34. Loves hot baths with you. Loves that you wash and comb his hair.

35. Loves that you massage his back.

36. He doesn't swear a lot, but when he does, his favorite curse word is fuck.

37. It's not competitive.

38. He is extremely respected by everyone as Sorcerer Supreme and leader of the Defenders, for that reason he doesn't usually get into confrontations, but when necessary he can be extremely angry.

39. He doesn't usually get into fights or arguments, least of all with you. Tries his best to work things out by talking.

40. He knows how to hide his emotions very well, but he manages to open up to you a little.

41. Loves going to the theater. Loves musicals.

42. Gets mad if you disobey any of his rules and end up putting yourself in danger.

43. He hates asking for help with anything, especially if it has to do with his hands, but if he needs it he will ask you for help.

44. He hates driving since he had the accident so he uses magic to go anywhere.

45. Breakfast is his favorite food.

46. He prefers salty food to sweet food.

47. He doesn't usually drink, but when he does, he prefers wine to whiskey.

48. Drinks whiskey when nervous about something or extremely anxious.

49. Never gets drunk.

50. Doesn't tend to get mad at you easily, but gets mad when you get in the way of his work. However, he ends up giving in when he realizes that you just want his attention.

51. Will always be the first to apologize to you, even when he's right.

52. Is extremely resistant to pain. Usually takes care of himself when he comes home hurt after a mission, but will let you take care of him if you ask.

53. He is very quiet when he is tired or upset about something related to work.

54. He is extremely considerate of you.

55. Loves to take care of you whether it's because you're sick, on your period, had a bad day at work or any other reason.

56. He is not jealous.

57. Not given to public displays of affection.

58. He gets extremely shy when you kiss him around his defenders friends.

59. He is extremely selfless. Will always put your needs first.

60. He tends to be very focused on work, but sometimes he catches himself daydreaming about you which always brings a smile to his lips.

61. Is secretly afraid that you will one day get tired of his lifestyle.

62. Trust your love for him, but fear that one day you might leave him.

63. Never got over his sister's death, still blames himself for it and can't talk about it, not even to you.

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing!

DEFENDER STRANGE MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

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[tiny-sassy-aggressive]

I am living blogging my reaction to the second watch through of WDAPTEO 4 bc the first run through was so much

00:00- I screamed when I saw the notif. I was alone in the car. Just pulled up to my apt looked at my phone and screamed “ no way “ I still can’t believe we got it

00:01- hi, they are SO BEAUTIFUL I’m squealing. I cannot stop staring it’s embarassing

00:27 what’s going on here? “Nothing” my heart. The smiles

00:50 oh I am LOVING the feature wall. And fish tank reveal project??

01:00 how dare they throw THAT japhan photo up there like it’s just some example. Who the hell do they think they are- also I want that doomed hoodie :( he is snug as a bug in a rug

01:50 terror not even 2 minute in and crack

02:03 I’m sorry Dan asking Phil about TikTok stuff is precious

02:13(What is cba)

02:39 I CACKLED. Phil’s sarcastic ass omg

02:44 dans little pat

02:58 phivorce

03:05 I know the ft, they are friends of course. But seeing the messages really warms my heart. Like it’s so normal why am I emotional

03:52 of course Phil sends millions of memes

04:10 how in the fuck did Phil catch his phone what??? Ft dans face during the whole interaction.

Ad time —— 04:25. Im sorry Dan looks fucking amazing, his hair is so curled and pretty? And he looks so comfy cozy and soft??? My Dannie side is really coming out rn

04:59 handsome devil, damn straight. Love this man he’s too precious for this world

05:23 🍑

05:55 are the Brits okay??? Bone daddies?? I’m too American for this

06:30 perfectly encapsulated Dan and Phil energy

06:35 Dan saying dude scratches a weird itch in my brain

06:55 again! Totally normal to call a friend in a taxi. But this moment makes them so real in my mind like yes. Call that friend. In that taxi. Make it less awkward. Why did I like this moment so much

07:05 A PRETEND CONVO OF COURSE HE WOULD. He’s so real for that

07:34 “these are very dan and Phil”

07:42 I’m in pain. Koala content and ouch I can’t even put into words

08:44 three days without a text sounds exaggerated. Or lie. Like cmon. All those messages and convos and yall went 3 days without a word?? Sounds fake

08:58 asking what he should do for his nails!!? Again totally normal but UGH I love their friendship

09:01 also Phil coming in with a STELLAR idea, hope to see it happen

09:11 Phil’s a little shit OMG he hated the nails Dan got.

09:38: dans precious little selfies

09:44 also who tf is that that does not look like Dan

09:52 wtf do you mean that they had the same weird Swedish bakery???? 10 years apart???? WHAT THE HELL??????

10:35 fuckin nerds ft cute ft selfie

10:52 Dan in Phil’s glasses hi what the fuck? Precious. Phil loves to take photos of Dan sleeping.

11:02 jump. Scare.

11:28 PHIL CALLED HIS MOM. NURSE LESTER.

12:11 Dan stalking the ring doorbell is not something I expected?

12:20 glad to know Phil and I share that we can’t hear someone saw our name bc it’s too intimate

13:16 ordering a roast dinner is so cute idk why

13:35 jump. Scare.

14:26 I hate them :( i so long for what they have

15:04 they didn’t see death note the musical!! Haters!!!!

15:20 HOT

16:00 Phil papping Dan>>>>>>

16:20 I rewatched this part so many times. Thsi entire sequence. This whole. Dare i say SCENE. Disgustingly familiar. Disgustingly cute. I- karaoke game???? What??? It was for them

17:06 omatone :(

18:22 hot? Worrying? Hmm???

18:45 Phil is so dramatic I love him

19:01 genre to dinner? I don’t get them

19:10 DAAAAAN AHHHHH

19:20 SCRIPTS AH???????3@2/9/@/9@22929 more writer Dan

20:17 this is so familiar

20:50 this has “would you still love me if I was a worm” energy? Can’t explain

22:53 “we dan and phil-ed it” we have to steal that! Asap’

23:24 when Dan sits up he is soooo much taller than Phil but he constantly slumps down and looks up to Phil. It’s very cute to watch.

24:30 oh they are fully embracing the joint channel and slowly moving away from gaming and honestly. I’m alright with it. They look so happy

Guys this was too much. So I just started reading fanfic and these conversations were right out of what I’ve been reading which is very odd tbh? But we were fed. This was amazing content and I can’t wait to see what the writers do with this. Cheers

[anamoon63]

Hi guys, I am writing this in case anyone wonders why I have been kind of MIA lately. No, I haven't forgotten you, but I have had a difficult week, more than a difficult week, I have been through a real ordeal. Where or how it started it's a long story which I don't have the time or the energy to tell, so I'll just share a brief chronology of what happened during this past week.

Friday May 3 - I turned in my finished work and set out to do my sims posts, play and rest for the weekend since more work would be coming my way on Monday.

Saturday May 4 - My husband came down with the flu, I spent most of the day with him in the emergency room.

Sunday May 5 - I spent it taking care of my husband, who fortunately no longer had a fever. I barely slept two hours at night giving care and medication.

Monday 6 May - My birthday, we couldn't go out for dinner as usual, so we celebrated at home.

Tuesday, May 7 - My son comes down with the flu, too, another afternoon in the ER and sleepless night caring for him and bringing down his fever.

Wednesday, May 8 - My son starts to feel better, and begins to recover very quickly. I start working on the following translations, at the same time I take care of both my husband and my sick son, do food, laundry, order home medicines, and all kinds of small chores, including disinfecting things. It's like going back to 2020.

Thursday, May 9 - My husband no longer has a fever but does have a cough that won't go away and minor problems with his asthma.

Friday, May 10 - Mother's Day, my son was feeling fine, my husband still had a cough, and had a doctor's appointment at noon, when he returned, we celebrated at home just like on my birthday, I spent the rest of the day working, and juggling a thousand other things. In the evening my daughter started to feel sick, but still no fever.

Saturday, May 11 (yesterday) - My daughter woke up with a fever, another visit to the ER. She was prescribed flu medicine, painkillers and rest, and sent home.

And that's my odyssey so far. On top of it all, from Wednesday through Saturday we were in the middle of a heat wave with temperatures of 37ºC with real feel of up to 45ºC; at night we get a "cooler" temperature of 29ºC. So imagine a person with a fever of 38 ºC and with this heat, obviously it's not of much help.

Surprisingly, I haven't gotten sick so far, but I'm not claiming victory. I have been taking care of my family for a week, sleeping two or three hours a night, getting up at different times to check on them, or give them medicine. I don't have time for getting sick! Lol. Thankfully, everyone is better and last night for the first time in a week I was able to sleep straight through. Honestly, I don't need many hours of sleep, but I am routinely and usually I am in bed a 11 pm and up at 8 am every day, so all this did upset my sleep cycle a little bit.

Anyway, that is the reason why I wasn't here much, since the whole day I was too busy, and at night I was so tired all I wanted was to go to bed. I apologize if I've fallen behind on your updates, I'm not ignoring you in any way, I just didn't have the strength or the time, not even to play The Sims. If I did, it was just a little free play to distract myself.

Last week I told you that I was juggling a lot of things, well now I have even more things, lol, at times I feel really exhausted, and even a little cranky from lack of sleep, the first few days my feet and legs hurt so much from going back and forth, but I'm fine, healthy, and in good spirits. Today I believe, as never before, that the universe does not send you more than you can handle.

At this point my family is already in recovery, if I don't get sick too, it's likely by I'll be able to get back to my simming routine. Now, if I do get sick, I hope to recover as quickly as the others. Whatever happens, I'll be around. Know that, even if I don't comment, I read you, and I am with you, especially with those who are going through difficult times of any kind.

Ok, I said to myself this was going to be a short post, but I made a wall of text instead (for a change). My apologies if it's written in a sloppy or confusing way, I just wanted to write it quickly to let you know where I have been and what has been going on with me these days. I hope you are all well, please take care of yourselves, health is a treasure that can be lost at any moment, the flu is a nasty disease, we must never let our guard down and forget to take the necessary measures to prevent it.

Last, but not least, I want to thank all of you who have mentioned me, tagged me, sent me asks and/or stars to my inbox, commented and/or liked what few posts I could do these days, I appreciate it very much and I'll try to reply to you as soon as I can, though I've fallen so far behind that I don't know if I'll be able to find your mentions in my notifications. In any case, thank you very, very much to all of you for thinking about me in my absence. 💗 I'll see you soon, hopefully, with more sim adventures, stay tuned!

[dr-futbol-blog]

Childhood's End

There sure are a lot of strapping young lads in this episode.

In Childhood's End (S01E06), we start sowing the seeds of jealousy that we find upon multiple instances both Sheppard and McKay express when it comes to the other's interest in a woman or a woman's interest in them (possibly this already started at the end of the previous episode with the handsy nurse; there Rodney was miffed, here Sheppard is miffed). Jealousy due to romantic rivalry between two men would make sense in a heteronormative context (women are paying more attention to my friend when they should be paying attention to me) but, uh. That is not and never will be the case with these two.

McKay mentions Samantha Carter at the outset and while he doesn't see the faces Sheppard pulls, we sure do. The thing is, McKay doesn't even say anything particularly incriminating. It's the mere tone of his voice when he mentions her name that Sheppard seems to pick up on.

Devil's advocate: Sheppard finds it distasteful that a fellow officer is being objectified. He finds 'locker room talk' crass, even though there's barely a hint of it here. Okay. But then he does this:

This lip thing is something that we see Sheppard do when ever he does not know how to deal with difficult emotions (a notable example is following the hug Elizabeth gives him after he survives a suicide mission in The Siege, Pt III). This is self-soothing behaviour.

The episode also starts with an example of something that I really don't like but which clearly stems from McKay's insecurity: indicating that he is of a superior intellect and that Sheppard is dumb ("I'm sorry: Yes, energy field good"). Yes, he also did that to Sam in the very beginning ("I have a weakness for dumb blondes"; let's preemptively insult the attractive person to take the sting off the inevitable rejection). He did actually already start this with Sheppard at the outset ("I knew that, of course. I'm just surprised that you did").

This is also one of the reasons I think 38 Minutes (S01E04) would have worked much better later on in the season: in it, we have another instance of McKay asserting his intellectual superiority over the others ("I apologise for being the only person who truly comprehends how screwed we are!") because he "reacts to certain doom a certain way" and Sheppard, being in the bind that he is, cuts him short real quick: "You've got to stop using your mouth and start using your brain!"

This is something that we return to time and again. McKay panics and starts going off on everyone around him focusing on all the wrong things, and Sheppard cuts through the fog to get his attention back to solving the problem.

In-universe, McKay is one of the smartest people alive. Some have argued even the smartest. According to Daniel Jackson, he could have won the Nobel Prize several times over. Yes. We later learn that Sheppard is of above-average intellect but obviously he is no match for Marty-Stu McKay because no one is.

Only, when it comes to strategy and strategic thinking, Sheppard is light years ahead of McKay.

This is a very good example of that: Sheppard is teaching McKay how to communicate on a mission. Be succinct, to the point, give only the information that is relevant. Clear communication and simplification of data is vital operation protocol, especially in scenarios of certain doom. Everyone knows that you're smarter than them my guy, he's just trying to keep you and everyone else unharmed.

This episode also marks the hilarious beginning of Sheppard's poor sense of direction. In fact, neither of them can keep a straight line with regards to orientation.

Sheppard can orient himself in the sky but not on land. McKay, as we later learn, cannot keep to a straight line on the ground or in the air.

In the episode, Keras and Sheppard bond real quick. The young village elder seems smitten. Good god, he looks Sheppard intensely in the eyes and says: "I’ll be honest with you, Sheppard. There’s nothing I’d like more than to spend more time talking with you… But it’s not possible." You know, like straight dudes do.

Sheppard also seems to like the boy just fine, although how much of his behaviour is designed simply to stop Keras from doing something he thinks is morally bankrupt is up in the air. They are sitting together, walking together, exchanging personal information.

There's also this:

Keras: Would you stand witness? Sheppard: Me? Well, what do I have to do? Keras: Just be there, as I prepare. We gather the strength from those close to us for the Sacrifice to come.

In the few brief moments they have spent together, they've apparently become close enough for him to ask Sheppard to witness his suicide ceremony. He even takes an arrow to the chest for this man he has just met.

What's real interesting, though, and which I'll return to in connection with Teyla's baby later is when Keras asks Sheppard whether he has any children. He responds: "Me? No. Not yet, anyway." Not yet. Not yet but he might want some one day.

The thing is, McKay's entire arc in this episode deals with him and how he is with children. He starts by being extremely annoyed by them like he's a big child himself. Ford tells the kids: "He's just upset because you're smarter than him." But by the end of the episode he has come to care for these children. He keeps them safe and protected, and makes sure that they haven't been hurt or traumatized by the ordeal. The persistence of these children changed him, and now he seems like he might make a great parent some day. And while they are antagonized by him, the kids also seem to really like him.

Now, what possible, possible reason could you have to bring up one character's desire for children in the future and showing what an excellent parent another character would make in the same episode? Hmm?

[frmartinshomiliesandreflections]

10th November >> Fr. Martin's Homilies/Reflections on Today's Mass Readings for The Thirty Second Sunday in Ordinary Time (B) (Inc. Mark 12:38-44): ‘She put in everything she possessed’.

Thirty Second Sunday in Ordinary Time (B)

Gospel (Except USA) Mark 12:38-44 This poor widow has put in more than all.

In his teaching Jesus said, ‘Beware of the scribes who like to walk about in long robes, to be greeted obsequiously in the market squares, to take the front seats in the synagogues and the places of honour at banquets; these are the men who swallow the property of widows, while making a show of lengthy prayers. The more severe will be the sentence they receive.’ He sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the treasury, and many of the rich put in a great deal. A poor widow came and put in two small coins, the equivalent of a penny. Then he called his disciples and said to them, ‘I tell you solemnly, this poor widow has put more in than all who have contributed to the treasury; for they have all put in money they had over, but she from the little she had has put in everything she possessed, all she had to live on.’

Gospel (USA) Mark 12:38–44 This poor widow put in more than all the others.

In the course of his teaching Jesus said to the crowds, “Beware of the scribes, who like to go around in long robes and accept greetings in the marketplaces, seats of honor in synagogues, and places of honor at banquets. They devour the houses of widows and, as a pretext recite lengthy prayers. They will receive a very severe condemnation.” He sat down opposite the treasury and observed how the crowd put money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. A poor widow also came and put in two small coins worth a few cents. Calling his disciples to himself, he said to them, “Amen, I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the other contributors to the treasury. For they have all contributed from their surplus wealth, but she, from her poverty, has contributed all she had, her whole livelihood.”

Homilies (4)

(i) Thirty Second Sunday in Ordinary Time

We know from our own experience that the value of a gift does not always depend on the amount of money that was spent on it. People can put a lot of thought into a gift that costs very little. Others can spend a lot of money on a gift without putting much thought into it. A bunch of flowers that we have invested time and energy in cutting from the fields and that we personally hand over can mean more to someone than an expensive bouquet of flowers that is delivered by courier. When a gift contains something of the person giving it, we appreciate its worth. When it displays a generosity of spirit it means more to us.

In today’s gospel reading, a poor widow displays an extraordinary generosity of spirit. She gave a very small amount of money to the Temple treasury, only two small copper coins. It was what we used to call a ‘pittance’, but it was all she had to live on. If generosity is measured not in terms of how much we give but in terms of what we have left after we give, then this widow’s generosity knew no bounds. She gave until she had nothing left to give. Her tiny contribution to the Temple treasury would have gone unnoticed by others. However, it did not go unnoticed by Jesus. He focused on her. The gospel reading is reminding us that the Lord sees more deeply than the rest of us. He saw that the widow’s small gesture revealed a large and generous heart, because the little she gave was all she had to live on. In giving a little, she was giving everything.

Perhaps Jesus saw in her an image of himself. At this point in Mark’s gospel, Jesus is in the city of Jerusalem, where he would soon be crucified. He was about to give everything on the cross. Like the widow, he would give all he had. In the words of the second reading, he was soon to offer himself. The widow embodied Jesus’ gift of his whole self. Her extraordinary generosity to God made her vulnerable; she gave everything to serve the worship of God in the Temple. Jesus’ generous service of God made him completely vulnerable, leaving him at the mercy of powerful men who unjustly took his life in the cruellest fashion. The widow was following in the way of Jesus without realizing it. It is often the case in Mark’s gospel that the minor characters in the story, like this widow, are the ones who show us what it means to be a disciple of Jesus, whereas the central characters, like the twelve disciples, are often slow to grasp what being a disciple means.

Jesus knew that his disciples had something to learn from this widow, which is why he called them over and drew their attention to her. He wanted them to notice this widow, just as he had done. The evangelist, Mark, included this story in his gospel because he recognised that disciples of ever age have something to learn from her. What can we learn from this poor widow? There are times in our lives when we may have little to give, little in the way of material resources, or, perhaps, little in the way of time or energy or enthusiasm. Yet, the widow shows us that we can be just as generous, if not more so, at such times than when we seem to have a great deal more to give. She teaches us that what matters is not how much we give but the generosity of spirit that lies behind it. In giving a little, we can sometimes be giving our all, if a little is all we have to give. A small gesture at a certain moment in our lives when we are weak and frail can have a greater value in the Lord’s eyes than a greater gesture when we are much more able. Just as Jesus noticed the widow’s generosity when most others would have ignored her, the Lord notices our generosity at those times in our lives when we seem to have very little to give, when we sense that our tank has run dry. In giving the little we have, the equivalent of two copper coins, when it is all we have to give, we are walking in the footsteps of the one who came not to be served but to serve and to give his life for all, and we are helping to make the kingdom of God present on earth.

In today’s gospel reading, the scribes, the religious experts of the day, are identified by Jesus as ‘men who swallow the property of widows, while making a show of lengthy prayers’. They have the visible trappings of religious piety while stealing the property of the most vulnerable in society to enrich themselves. The poor widow is a representative of the group that the religious leaders of the time were exploiting. They thought they were serving God with their lengthy prayers, whereas, in the eyes of Jesus, it was the widow who was really serving God with her generosity of heart and spirit. Jesus is reminding us that our religious devotions are worth nothing in God’s eyes if we fail to care for those whose lives are precarious.

And/Or

(ii) The Thirty Second Sunday in Ordinary Time

Most of us have probably negative memories of school or college examinations. Coming up to exams is always a pressured time. We often come away from exams with a feeling that we may not have done ourselves justice. Examinations are very much part and parcel of college and school life. Yet, many feel that there are a limited means of assessing knowledge and understanding. That is one of the reasons why various forms of continuous assessment have become more popular in school and college life. End of year examinations are probably better at assessing ability than at assessing effort. Very able people who may not do much work can do very well in examinations, whereas those who work hard but are less able can do poorly. Exams may be better at measuring how much people have, in terms of ability, rather than how much people give, in terms of effort.

There is not always a close relationship between ability and effort, between what people have and what they give. Some who have a lot can be very sparing with what they give. Others who have a little can be very generous in their giving. The first reading and the gospel reading this morning focus on two widows who had very little but gave a great deal. In the first reading, the widow only had a handful of meal in a jar and a little oil in a jug, which was barely enough for herself and her son. Yet, she shared the little she had with the prophet Elijah when he asked for help. The widow in the gospel reading had even less to her name. All she possessed in the world was two small coins, the equivalent of a penny, which at the time was about one thirtieth of a day’s wage. Yet, little as she had, she put the whole lot into the temple treasury. Her extraordinary generosity revealed the depth of her surrender to God and, indeed, her complete trust in God to provide for her. She had very little to give and, yet, she gave everything. Those who had an abundance of this world’s goods put much more into the temple treasury than she did. Yet, relatively speaking, they put much less into the temple treasure, because after they made their generous contribution, they continued to have a great deal left, whereas after she made her tiny contribution, she had nothing left. Jesus is suggesting that generosity is not so much measured by what we give but by what we have left after we give. The widow gave her all; she had nothing more to give. Even though the economic value of what she gave was tiny, the value of what she gave in the Lord’s eyes was enormous. When Jesus looked at her and drew the attention of his disciples to her, he may have recognized something of himself in her. At this point in Mark’s gospel, Jesus is in the temple in Jerusalem. Very soon he will undergo his passion and death. In the course of that painful final journey, he himself will give everything he has. Everything will be taken from him. By the time he cries out, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me’, he will have nothing more to give. Like the widow before the temple treasury, he will have given everything he possessed. It is with this poor woman that Jesus identifies, and not with the religious leaders that Jesus spoke about earlier in the gospel reading, those who like to walk around in long robes and take the front seats in the synagogues. In contrast to the external signs of honour sought out by the religious leaders of the day, this poor widow possessed true honour in God’s eyes. Jesus also says of these religious leaders that they make a show of lengthy prayers as a cover for swallowing the property of widows. It is somewhat ironic that this widow gives so generously to an institution that exploits her.

This passage prompts me to ask the question, ‘Where would Jesus recognize something of himself today?’ The gospel reading suggests that he would recognize himself most of all in those who, like the widow in the gospel reading, mostly go unnoticed, but whose total trust in God enables them to give without counting the cost, without looking to see what they have left, without expecting anything in return. They don’t just give of their possessions, but they give of themselves. It is said of Jesus in the second reading this morning, that he sacrificed himself, he offered himself. God is more interested in the gift of ourselves than in the gift of our possessions.

Jesus saw something of himself in the widow. Through baptism we become members of Christ’s body, temples of his Spirit. As baptized we are to live our lives in such a way that Jesus recognizes something of himself in us, especially in our generosity and goodness of spirit. John is now about to be baptized. We pray that through the grace of baptism he will grow up into the kind of person Jesus recognizes as an image of himself. We can all help him to become that kind of person by living our own baptism to the full, by becoming ourselves people in whom Jesus recognizes something of himself. We ask the Holy Spirit this morning to help us to become that kind of person.

And/Or

(iii) Thirty Second Sunday in Ordinary Time

I have often been struck by the quiet heroism of people, their unassuming goodness and generosity of spirit. These are people who live below most people’s radar. They never feature in any of our media outlets. I am aware of many such good and generous people here in the parish. I become especially aware of such people on the occasion of their death. I sit with the family of the deceased and they speak to me about their loved one who has died. I am often greatly touched by what they have to say. They speak about the simple, ordinary, things that their loved ones did throughout the lives. What made these simple, ordinary deeds so special was that they came from a loving, generous, heart.

I was reminded of those people of unassuming goodness by today’s gospel reading. There are two very distinct parts to that reading, and they stand in very sharp contrast to each other. The first part features a group of influential and powerful men, the religious experts of their day, the scribes. Jesus speaks of them as people who like to promote themselves, who like to be seen, who look for honour from others. Yet behind this outward show, there lurks a heart that stands ready to exploit the vulnerable. Jesus accuses them of swallowing the property of widows. The second part of the gospel reading features a poor widow, a representative of the very group that the scribes exploiting. Whereas the scribes went out of their way to be noticed, this widow would normally have gone completely unnoticed by others. Yet, Jesus noticed her and he made sure that his disciples noticed her, calling them over and drawing their attention to her. Jesus noticed what others would have missed. He noticed her extraordinary, yet almost invisible, generosity. She placed a very small amount of money into the Temple treasury, two small coins, the equivalent of a penny. Yet in putting in that tiny sum into the treasury, she was putting in all she had to live on. What was tiny in monetary terms was enormous on the scale of human generosity. The penny she gave to the service of God in the Temple was, literally, her last penny. Whereas Jesus warns his disciples away from the attitude displayed by the scribes, he clearly wants them to learn from the attitude of this widow. Jesus holds her up to his disciples as their teacher. ‘Learn from her’, he is saying. Where this episode is placed in Mark’s gospel is significant. Jesus is in the Temple in Jerusalem. He has just cleansed the Temple, incurring great hostility from the religious leaders, including the scribes, for doing so. He is just about to begin the journey of his passion and death. At the end of that journey, he will give his life, his all, out of love for God and humanity. Jesus must have seen something of himself in this widow who gave her all out of love for God.

Just as Jesus held up this widow to his disciples to learn from, he continues to hold her up to all of us today. I was reading a book recently by a Jesuit priest. He spoke about a Sister of Mercy who taught him when he was a child in primary school. She prepared himself and his classmates for first confession and first holy communion. On the occasion of his first holy communion, he received a bone china holy water font of the Madonna and Child. One day he dropped it in the school yard and it broke in pieces. This sister immediately collected all the bits of the holy water font piece by piece, and put her arms around him to comfort him. Some weeks later, she called him to her office and gave him back the font restored to its former glory. She had clearly spent hours and hours piecing it all back together again for him. Many years later, now a priest, he went to visit her. She was now aged ninety and clearly hadn’t very long to live. She said to him that, while she was frightened of pain, she wasn’t fearful of death. She said that she was looking forward to meeting Christ face to face, and, hopefully, hear him say to her, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant – with what you had, you did your best’. I was struck by that phrase, ‘with what you had, you did your best’. The widow in the gospel reading had very little, but she did her best with what she had. What any one of us has can often vary from one moment in our lives to another. There are times when we seem to have a lot, whether it is of financial resources, or health, or energy, or imagination, or ideas. There are other times in our lives when, for a whole variety of reasons, we seem to have very little. Our health may not be great; we sense we have run out of energy and enthusiasm; we feel below par in all kinds of ways. At such times, we can be tempted to judge ourselves rather harshly. Yet, today’s gospel reading reminds that all the Lord asks of us is that we do our best with what we have at the time, even if what we have is very little, perhaps no more than the  equivalent of the widow’s penny.

And/Or

(iv) The Thirty Second Sunday in Ordinary Time

We know from our own experience that the value of a gift does not depend on the amount of money that was spent to buy it. People can put a lot of thought into a gift that costs very little. We tend to value more the gift into which a lot of thought has gone than the gift that was expensive. A bunch of flowers that we have invested time and energy in cutting from the fields and that we personally hand over can mean more than the most expensive bouquet that is delivered by courier. When the gift contains something of the person giving it, we appreciate its worth.

In the gospel reading, Jesus observes two kinds of gifts being given to the temple treasury. Some put a great deal of money into the treasury. Yet, it was the widow’s gift of two small pennies that caught Jesus’ eye. Even thought her small gift was worth little, it was the most valuable gift of all, because in giving that small sum, she gave her livelihood – she gave her life. Jesus very deliberately points her out to his disciples. Just on one occasion he pointed to a child as the teacher of his disciples, on this occasion he points to the extraordinary generosity of the widow. Jesus was within a few weeks of his passion and death, when he would be called upon to give all he had, his whole life. Perhaps he saw in this widow an image of what was soon to be asked of him.

It is very likely that if Jesus had not pointed out this widow to his disciples, they would not have paid any attention to her. Unlike the scribes who made it their business to be as visible as possible, and about whom Jesus is very critical in today’s gospel, this window was one of the invisible people of the time. The passage reminds us that it is often the people who are least noticed who have the most to teach us. The quality of their goodness and generosity is never on public display; it is hidden and more often than not it goes unrecognized. We live among such people without always knowing it. We may hear things about them after they have died that we never suspected while they lived. The gospel reading suggests that the quality of goodness and generosity that is invisible to us is always visible to the Lord. He notices even if others do not.

The widow, in putting her two small coins into the temple treasury, believed that she was giving to God. It was to God that she wanted to give her whole livelihood, her life. Even though Jesus was very critical of the temple and of those who were responsible for it, there is nothing in the gospel reading to suggest that Jesus thought the woman was misguided in giving everything she had to the temple treasury. In a sense, she shows what it means to live the first and the greatest commandment that was the focus of the gospel reading a couple of Sundays ago. She loved God with all her heart, soul, mind and strength. She gave expression to that love in the only way she knew. Jesus recognized that God was the focal point of her giving. The gospel reading suggests that in the case of those who gave large sums of money to the temple treasure, the focal point of their giving was much more themselves. Their giving was, ultimately, an investment in their own honour and recognition. One of the more subtle temptations that we all have to fight against is the temptation to be self-serving in our self-giving. We give with a view to receiving. We are less likely to fall into this temptation if, like the widow, God remains the focus of our giving. Rather than giving to receive, we give because we have received from God; we give back to God from what God has given to us.

By putting all she had to live on into the temple treasury, the vulnerable widow was, in a sense, making herself more vulnerable. It takes extraordinary trust in God to go out on a limb to the extent she did. Deep within her, she must have trusted that God would provide. In the first reading, another widow hesitated initially to share the little she and her son had with Elijah who had asked for something to eat and drink. She was vulnerable enough without making herself more vulnerable. Elijah assured her that if she shared the little she had, God would provide for her. Ingiving she would receive.

This is the core of the gospel message; it is in giving that we receive, it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Jesus says in Luke’s gospel, ‘Give and it will be given to you, a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap’. The giving Jesus refers to there is not only the giving of money. Our generous giving can take many forms. For some, it may take the form of forgiving someone who has done them wrong, for others it may take the form of serving people with whatever gifts the Lord has given them. Whatever forms our giving takes, both widows in today’s readings can be our teachers.

Fr. Martin Hogan.

[ifitmeanslosingyouthenno]

heat burns my skin

day 5 whumptober prompt: sunburn | heatstroke

it’s been 14 hours and 36 minutes since abram left his mother’s bones buried in the sand 

he’s walking down a sand covered road with nothing but low bushes and a flower here and there 

the sun is beginning to set, and yet abram doesn’t remember much about the last 14 hours and 38 minutes apart from the fact that it’s been that long

he was keeping count 

and yet

he doesn’t know anything else about what’s happened today, he doesn’t know where he is, he doesn’t know if he’s any closer to san francisco than he was when mary died 

the words she made him repeat over and over again before she passed echo around his head

don't look back, don't slow down, and don't trust anyone.

don't look back, don't slow down, and don't trust anyone.

don't look back, don't slow down, and don't trust anyone.

don't look back, don't slow down-

it’s been 16 hours and 14 minutes since abram left his mother’s bones buried in the sand, when he finally approaches what looks like a small coastal town

nighttime is well underway, but he hopes there’s a convenience store open somewhere

he ends up in a gas station store, grabbing the essentials (a water bottle, an apple, a packet of raising and oatmeal cookies, a map of california) with shaking hands he does not feel 

“jesus christ kid, did you spend the entire day outside without sunblock?”

the cashier’s voice is the first thing that’s able to get through the fog around him

“i’m sorry?”

she’s an older lady, staring at him with wide eyes and a concerned twinge in her gaze

“darling, you’re red as a lobster! are you okay?”

abram hadn’t felt a thing all day, beyond the faint pain deep in his chest that he refused to let himself feel completely

if he let himself grieve mary, he wouldn’t be able to keep his promises to her

so noticing the red and pink patches on his skin comes as a surprise, as does the sudden tension and warmth coming from his entire body 

huh

well would you look at that

his arms are actually swollen 

now that he’s aware of the heat that had crawled beneath his skin, the pain of holding on to the simple objects nearly makes him drop them and his head is pulsing with one of the strongest headaches he’s had recently

it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay

it doesn’t even hurt

he’s fine, it’s fine

you’re fine, abram, it’s just a little sunburn, can’t you stand a little bit of pain?

he’s going to be fucking sick

the old cashier lady is still looking at him with worry

it takes more energy than he has to give her a faint smile that is sure to look more like a grimace, but it’s everything he can give

“don’t worry about it, i found out i can’t get a tan the hard way, should have listened to my mom when she warned me it wouldn’t work”

“oh my, you sweet boy, do you have any lotion to put on, here let me give you this one, free of charge-”

“you really don’t need to do that, i can just ask my mom for some when i get home”

“not to be rude kid, but i know i haven’t seen you around, by the time you get home with your friends or whoever you’re with, because i know your mom would never allow you to get that burnt, you’re gonna regret it”

it takes herculean effort not to cry at just how right she is, despite being so utterly wrong

“i wouldn’t want to bother you”

“oh trust me darling, it does not bother me at all to help out a kid, i just hope you learn that some of us tan and some of you don’t, why don’t you go get a sports drink while i charge you for this?”

the kindness of this complete stranger hurts, almost enough to drown out the grief that’s been threatening to overwhelm him throughout this entire interaction

abram doesn’t deserve that 

he’s… he’s the reason mary is dead, it’s all his fault, he should have noticed earlier that there was something going on, that he should have saved her, that he could have saved her

he can’t stand his own skin by the time he’s sitting in a bus heading towards san francisco, it burns and it hurts and blisters are starting to appear in his hands

his head feels like it’s gonna explode or float straight off his neck

the sports drink makes him feel a little more aware of himself, but exhaustion weights down on him

he wonders if a sunburn can kill you

he doesn’t think the universe is that kind

not my most cohesive work but it is what it is lol i hope yall know i HATE mary with a very intense passion also not my most creative title but like i could not think of a lyric related to the story that also sounded good so s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w by mcr it is

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Love Song for a Vampire Pt. 32

Pairing(s): Edward Cullen x Wolf!Reader, Jacob Black x OC!Witch

Warnings:none

Words:2144

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21  Part 22  Part 23  Part 24  Part 25  Part 26  Part 27  Part 28  Part 29  Part 30  Part 31  Part 33  Part 34  Part 35  Part 36  Part 37  Part 38  Part 39  Part 40(series finale) 

Bright and early, you leave your house to check on Evita. Sam had told you making just one of those wards had drained her of all energy. Just one. And there was so many more she needed to make in order to protect the borders of La Push and Forks.

Evita sat out on Sam’s front porch, a mug in her hands that had ribbons of rising steam trailing from it. Her face was pale, too pale opposed to her usual tan complexion. But her eyes when they flick to you are still alive and observant. A hair band pushed away her tightly wound curls to show off the pale pink scars on her face. “Good morning (y/n).”

“Good morning. How are you feeling?” You ask and sit on the front steps, angling your body toward her since there was only one chair on the porch.

She sighs and leans back, her shoulders sagging. “It’s taking a lot longer to recover my energy. I was hoping I’d be able to make another ward today, but I don’t think I’ll be up for it.”

“Sam said you had a friend coming.”

With a hum, she nods. “Yes. But I don’t know when he’ll be here. He’s constantly on the move. Most of the time he doesn’t have cellular service.” Her fingers tap against her mug. “I didn’t know it would take that much out of me. I’m not the strongest witch out there, but I’m fairly competent. I’ve seen my mother make wards before but mainly for our home. Nothing for a large reach of land. Times like these I wish she was here or even Leti. Leti was the most talented of our whole family. That’s why Xiomara saw her as a threat.”

She really hadn’t had time to mourn her sister. Now she was far away from any kind of family and help. You admire her tenacity. How strong she was even though Evita couldn’t have been much older than you. You think of your parents and how relieved they were when they saw you last night. Constantly making them worry about your wellbeing. Not even being with Edward had soothed them. Was Evita’s mom equally worried about her young daughter all alone?

”By the way,” Evita takes a sip from her mug before she proceeds “who was that girl yesterday? I don’t think I was introduced to her before.”

You knew who she meant. “That was Bella Swan.”

One thick eyebrow arches in intrigue. “TheBella Swan?”

“The one and only.”

You catch the space of skin between her brows crease. “Interesting. In a room crowded with wolves, I sensed her above them all.”

“What do you mean?”

Evita pauses for a few breaths to mull her words over in her head. “Hmmm, I should I put this. . . People, whether they be human or something else all have an aura. In the state that overcomes me when I’m performing my craft, my ability to see them intensifies. And you said Edward had never been able to read her thoughts?”

Affirmatively you nod wondering what this was leading to.

“That kind of aura,well, many magic welders have one just like her’s.”

“You’re saying Bella is a witch?”

“She’d have to practice at it, but yes she does have the capability of being a witch.” Her drink depleted, Evita sets it down next to one of the legs of the deck chair. Fixedly she looks at you, shooting you unspoken words that you read loud and clear.

Pursing your lips, you lean back against the stair rail. “Can she learn fast?”

“Normally I would say no.” Admits Evita. “But it’s not that often a human is naturally immune to a vampire’s power.” Her fingers tighten around a small jar that hung off her neck, caged in silver wire and strung with rope. You remember her making it. It protected her thoughts from Edward and other prying minds. She'd made it when she found out Edward could read everyone's thoughts except for Bella's and now your own.

Letting out a small sigh, Evita picks her mug back up and stands. You follow suit. "I need to get my strength back as soon as possible." She taps the mug. "This tea helps. I've already had three cups of it."

"Is there anything the pack can do in the meantime?" You ask her.

Evita's face glows and with her free hand, she holds your hand for a moment. "Spend time with your vampire now that you have him. Take this opportunity to bond before chaos ensues."

While she had spoken lightly as it was meant to cheer you, you couldn't help the shadow of worry cast over you at her last words. Foreboding of times to come.

Evita was to wait for her friend to arrive before she even entertained the idea of training Bella. She was no teacher and wouldn't even know where to begin with such a daunting task. She said his name was Dieufel and he was older than Letizia by three years. Still relatively young, but Dieufel was extremely talented and had traveled around the world to gain knowledge of all the known magicks out there. Dieufel called Haiti his home and had been there the last time Evita heard from him. That was a while ago.

While Dieufel wasn't the only magic wielder Evita knew, she was much more familiar with him since Letizia had gone on a few trips with him through the years of their acquaintanceship. "After yesterday though, I realize we'll need more people on deck to make the other wards."

“We’ll get them. Carlisle and Jasper are already on the road to get more vampires on our side.” You assure her. “And Edward texted me this morning that Alice also left last night too.”

“I hope they find success.” Evita smiles.

You left so Evita could get more rest and head back down the road. When you got home, you planned on suggesting a day for your date. Even thinking about it made you smile like a fool. While you wished you could go out on your first date right then and there, you couldn’t. You had to finish your summer school work before you academically fail even more. Not even werewolves could escape school.

Passing by the Black house, you notice Bella’s car pulling into the gravel driveway. This was the most you’d ever seen of Bella. Even when the vampires and wolves had been training together.

She hops out of the driver’s side and waves to you.

You wave back and anxiously eye Jacob’s garage where he always was when wolf duties didn’t pull him away.

Did Jacob tell her about imprinting on Evita? You wish you’d gone to check on him first before Evita. Internally you curse yourself for being a bad friend.

“You and Jake hanging out today?” You ask her, doing your best to be polite.

“Actually I wanted to see how Evita was doing.” She rubs anxiously at her arm despite the weather not being chilly at all. “Yesterday was really intense.”

“I think Evita would appreciate it.” You smile. Would Bella be happy about potentially being a witch? It could be a burden for her, something else to remind her of how her life has been tossed around by the world Edward and you live in. She would never have been privy to it prior to her life in Forks. There had been no fear of actual vampires walking on the same streets she walked. “I just came back from there. I think she wanted to talk to you too.”

Relief smoothed out the nervous lines on her face and she really smiles.

It was unwise though for Jacob to be anywhere near Evita right now. Evita didn’t need another situation on her plate.

You open your mouth, prepared to offer to take her to Sam’s yourself, when Jacob pops out of the garage with his house keys in his hands. He froze when he finds you there standing right next to Bella. Being friends for over a decade, you knew each of Jacob’s facial expressions and what they meant. His was one of guilt. You didn’t want to admonish him in front of Bella in case he hadn’t told her yet. But you definitely didn’t want him to go to Sam’s, especially if the alpha wasn’t their to monitor him and Evita.

“You guys might have to postpone your visit though. Evita’s still pretty tired and was going back to sleep when I left.” You smoothly explain, regretting the lie when you saw Bella’s look of disappointment.

“Oh, okay. Guess we’ll do a rain check.” Bella nonetheless smiles at you and is about to go back to her car when Jacob cut in.

“It’ll only be for a few minutes.”

Uh oh. You were wondering when his adolescent wolf brain would kick in. “She was pretty exhausted Jake. Plus Sam’s not there right now.”

You were getting in the way of him and his mate and his stupid testosterone was making him act irrationally.

Jacob’s jaw ticked.

Overly aware of Bella being so close to him, you slowly side step closer to her in case he did explode. She didn’t know what was going on; why Jacob had suddenly turned feral.

“She’s okay Jake.” You don’t pull your eyes away from his. “Everything’s fine. Let her sleep. It’s no use going if she’s sleeping.”

You nudge Bella’s arm, indicating for her to shift behind you and start to slowly move to her car.

Don’t do anything stupid you idiot. You think to yourself, unable to shout it at him through pack telepathy.

“(y/n). . .” Bella whispers at your back. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing’s wrong with him.” Well, if he wasn’t going to tell her now then you’d have to. “He’s just imprinted on Evita is all and is acting like a stupid male wolf.”

You saying it out loud snapped him of whatever stupor he had so quickly plummeted in.

“On Evita?” Bella breathes out shakily.

“Yes. And he’s acting irrationally because he doesn’t know how to deal with it.” You were tired of keeping the poor human in the dark. “Because he always wanted to imprint on you, Bella. But we don’t get the choice in that and we have to live with it and accommodate.”

Bella addresses Jacob “Is that why you didn’t tell me sooner? How long have you known?”

He glares at you for revealing everything to Bella when he wasn't ready. "Since the first day she got here."

"She doesn't know yet. It's best for her right now to focus on getting the wards up for protection. She doesn't need this imprinting mess impeding on her work." You remind him. "If you act like this in front of her, she'll definitely know something's up. So it's best if Jacob just stays away for the time being."

Now Bella knew Jacob had used her just to see Evita.

Chancing turning away from Jacob, you say to Bella in a softer tone "Evita really does want to meet you though. She said. . . She said you might be helpful to her."

The hurt on her face stalled for a moment. "Really?"

You nod. "If you feel like you need a wolf chaperone to go to Sam's, then I'd be happy to accompany you next time." While Bella hadn't shown any romantic attachment to Jacob (that you'd seen at least), you knew it might hurt losing another close person to imprinting.

You'd give her credit though as she took a deep breath and nods. "Thanks (y/n). I think I'll just go home for now. But can you call me tomorrow if Evita is ready?"

"Of course."

You and Jacob watch as she hastily drove off. Immediately Jacob verbally tore into you. Condemning you for telling her something that wasn't for you to tell. The news of his imprinting was something he should have announced when he was ready. But it was clear keeping this from Bella was the wrong choice. And you used that fact to snap back. He'd been the one who was inconsiderate to Bella's feelings. Of course this would be tough to tell her regardless.

By the end of it, both of you were trembling, your wolf threatening to come to the surface and snap actual deadly teeth against someone who had been one of your closest friends. For fear of an actual fight breaking out, you storm off to your house even though you wanted to go back and tussle with Jacob. You remind yourself how you were when you first imprinted on Edward. Such a confusing time but you'd found isolation the best way to come to terms with your new reality. Perhaps that was what Jacob needed too.

TAGLIST: @saltedcoffeescotch , @dangerouslittlefairy , @burn-crash-rqmance , @casedoina , @avadakadabra93 , @daryldixonstorm , @blue-aconite , @xanniestired666 , @esposadomd, @godinho11 , @arin-swear-rose , @alexizodd , @melaninsugarbaby , @lyeatoalinatoheaven , @ronwownsme , @itsmytimetoodream , @afro-hispwriter , @mutandis-extremis993 , @hxgemxscles , @nightly-polaris , @corrodedcoffins-slut , @ellesalazar , @itgetzweird08 , @crybabyatthediscooffandoms , @sassyandclassyx , @scarlet2007 , @theroyalbrownbarbie , @jennyamanda8 , @stevenandmarcslove , @biancaindaeyo , @loversjoy , @turningtoclown , @vixorell , @xxthackerybinxxx , @daredevilonmyheels , @dumbbitch-juice , @southern-bell-give-hell , @nat-the-gemini , @imdoingathingmom , @emmettcullenswife , @yoong1c0re , @daddykylokenobi , @minjix , @magical-spit , @krismdavis​ 

[driftward]

Log entries 15-38

Log Entry 15

Her essence ebbs when nobody is present.

I first noticed on day three, when everyone left. From what I could understand, they did not intend to be gone long. Just wanted to give the Madam Commander a chance to rest, and also to discuss important matters. I thought about going with them. Would that have been spying?

It is so weird, being present not present. I am used to not experiencing the world as they do. I am not used to not being a part of it altogether.

Maybe I could go spying. I wonder what the Chirurgeon does when nobody is watching.

The Madam Archon was the first to notice. The rest were quick to figure out what was wrong. I had a solution, but I could not share it.

Resonance.

It is a simple matter of resonance.

She just needs another source of living aether nearby to remind her soul what it is to be alive.

Fortunately their is now a rotation. She is never left alone. And now her essence is slowly building. A few more days, perhaps she will be self sustaining once more.

I hope.

Log Entry 20

Madam Commander spoke for the first time today. There was a discussion in the room. The one she thinks of as a child was the one speaking. Which is weird. I do not know why she thinks he is so young. His soul is clearly fully quickened and mature. Still though. He said a swear word.

She did not wake up, but she did mumble “language.”

The others found this very funny. I found it funny how mad he got. And then he swore a whole lot more.

Log Entry 23

The Madam Commander woke up for the first time today.

Log Entry 24

The Madam Commander is non-verbal. She seems aware of her surroundings, though. I do not feel any distress from her. She seems comfortable. She reaches out to touch others a fair bit. Unusual for her. Some Field Scholars like to be hands on, others maintain a distance. She was the sort to be hands on with a patient, but otherwise she always kept a distance.

I wonder if this means something.

She feels content, though. Especially when certain people are around. I think she favors the Madam Archon, the Leftenant, and the Adept. A twinge of concern for the Crystalficer and the Assistant. Very mixed feelings, swirling, regarding the Chirurgeon and her Commander.

She sleeps a lot.

The other fairies still cannot see me. I thought the Madam Archon might be able to. She can not.

I have taken to inspecting the soul armature. I can feel the lesser part of myself inside of its soulwell. It is the same as me, it is different. I can see the Madam Archon’s mark upon its essence. It is not strong enough to awaken once more just yet, but maybe when it does, I can try talking with it.

There is so much to discuss.

Log Entry 29

I am a fairy construct. I was created by the Madam Commander and the Madam Archon to be an able familiar, to provide able tactical advantage, to perform field assessment, to be a ready medical assistant. The Azure is my natural home, the rivers my natural fields, aether the light of my reality.

Which makes it all the more frustrating that somehow the Amalgam -and- one of those Auri people keep being able to enter and leave the room without me noticing!

I think the Amalgam can even see me, but I cannot seem to interact with them. They just stare.

This is a severe shortcoming in my capabilities, and I will be talking to the Madam Commander about it.

Oh, on that note, she is talking now. Not to me though. She does not know I am here.

Frustrating.

Log Entry 35

I love them. I love them all. They are her friends, her comrades, and I feel as close to them as I do to my fellow fairy constructs. They keep her close, they keep close to one another. They are warm, their essences full, their energies flowing so free. Seas, each of them, flowing around her, sharing with her, keeping her close, reminding her of who and what she is, and now.

The Madam Commander is finally fully lucid. And it is thanks… to them.

Log Entry 38

The Madam Commander is mobile these days. She still needs assistance. I want to help. I do not know what veil keeps us separated.

I try to touch her sometimes. Sometimes I try our link, and I get brief glimpses of what it is like to be her. It is very confusing. She sees everything weirdly. And she is so tall!

We have fallen into a routine, now. One of her comrades helps her walk a certain distance. Someone is there to tend to her meals. Her sleep to wake ratio is growing closer to what I would consider normal. I have nothing to do, so I try to investigate what it is that keeps us separated, or why I cannot interact with anything, or try to talk to her, or try to talk to anyone, or inspect her essence, or inspect the essence of her friends.

Her essence. It is still so concerningly low. Fortunate whatever malaise is affecting her is not affecting me. I am fine. Great, even. Rich and full of aether.

Which is stupid. I do not need so much.

Madam Archon is concerned about it as well. She speaks with the Chirurgeon about it often. The Leftenant is often there. She listens.

I hope they figure it out.

-*-

Klynt’s rough, calloused hand ran gently across Zoissette’s, a thumb caressing her palm, fingers rubbing gently against the back of Zoissette’s hand.

“How’re you feelin’?” she asked, a gentle rumble in the quiet of her deep voice.

Zoissette just stared at her hand a bit. Klynt waited. She had long ago learned to be patient with Zoissette. Zoissette could be an awkward swan of a woman. Strong, elegant, powerful. But also weirdly delicate in some ways.

“Fragile,” said Zoissette at long last. Her voice had a slight croak to it. Mathye had said it was from disuse. Apparently, there had not been much need for conversation out in the space between worlds. “I get tired so fast.”

Klynt just shook her head a little. “There’s no need for you to do anythin’ ‘cept rest,” she said.

“I know,” said Zoissette.

They were quiet again.

“I am so, so sorry.” said Zoissette.

Her voice was so, so quiet. And Klynt instinctively responded in kind, even as she let go of Zoissette’s hand to wrap the woman in a hug.

“Don’t be,” said Klynt. “You did a dumb thing, we got you back, and you’re alright.”

Zoissette shuddered in her arms.

“I hope Lavender is okay,” she said, hoarsely. “I can still feel her, but…”

“We got you back,” said Klynt. “We’ll figure her out too, if we have to. But right now, you have to rest.”

Zoissette just nodded into Klynt’s shoulder, wetting her with tears. Klynt pretended not to notice, and just held Zoissette for a time.

-*-

I like the Leftenant. I think they are good for each other.

[mrs-monaghan]

I'm not one big on reaction videos but a while back I watched a couple do a reaction video of Taekook and then Jikook. When they were watching the Jikook video they both mentioned how much longer the video was and how it appeared that Jikook spent a lot more time together than Taekook because of the quantity of footage--old and new. This statement got them into a lot of hot water...many taekookers commented under that video that this was simply because Big Hit (at the time) was hiding taekook and that's why there wasn't a lot of footage of them together or not as much as Jikook.

Now I'm not going to touch on the ridiculousness of tkkers claims, rather I want to focus on the statement these two Youtbers made regarding the quantity of Jikook content we have. Like have you ever just stopped and realized or considered the amount of Jikook moments there are starting from 2013! No other pairing in BTS...shit...K-pop has this much footage.

To lay it out-> Since I'm bored and missing Jikook I've been reminiscing on past moments by watching a lot of timeline videos. A YouTuber titled In-Orbit did a timeline series starting in 2014 and ending in 2017. Each year has a separate video and each video has about 40 minutes to an hour of content.

2014 video 47 minutes

2015 video 40 minutes

2016 vide 58 minutes

2017 video 54 minutes

That's about 4 hours of non-exhaustive/cut Jikook footage. Like, they excluded so many moments and shortened many moments so that each video wasn't it's own separate movie.

The Best of Jikook also does a lot of timeline videos...their's starts in 2013 and goes until 2020.

2013's video is the shortest, running time being 15 minutes.

Then her 2014 video had a running time of 30 minutes.

2015 video 40 minutes.

2016 video, 2 minutes shy of an hour.

2017 video 1 hour and 6 minutes

2018 video 1 hour and 38 minutes

2019 video nearly 2 hours

2020 video 1 hour and 40 minutes.

That's around 10 hours and 30 minutes of pure Jikook footage that again was also cut down. Also 3 years of Jikook footage is missing from these timelines.

So what does this prove? Well . . .

Best friend Status: The quantity and length of footage alone proves one thing and that's these two are beyond a shadow of any doubt the closest pairing...and always have been...yes even fetus jikook. 2013 Jikook still has more footage being together than any other BTS paring. This narrative that JK hated JM then is just a blatant lie told by those that can't tell the difference between playful banter and hate.

Jikook Grew closer in 2016: The running time for each year across all timeline videos I've seen, increased dramatically in 2016 and thereafter. The duration of these videos at the very least shows us that Jikook grew increasingly closer throughout the years because they were undoubtedly spending more time together.

Dynamic Shift started in 2015: If you watch the videos you will see that from 2013-2014 JM and JK were very playful and giving off very boyish best friend energy. There was a degree of flirting but it was masked as childish banter and it often seemed like JM just liked to poke fun at shy JK and JK liked to push back by playfully rejecting JM. However, a major shift took place in their dynamic starting in 2015. If you watch these timelines you'll see how their boyish banter becomes an exchange of Jimin exercising his "feminine wiles" and JK trying to exert a degree of masculine dominance over JM. JM's "flirting" is no longer boyish it's clearly feminine and it seems like at some point in 2015 JM became highly aware of the power he had over JK and he loved to use it. This dynamic has only increased throughout the years. JM knows that if he "acts cute" and bats his eyelashes at JK he can get him to do anything he wants. And JK knows that JM likes when he's more rough with him and they play into that often. Now People can say I'm reading into things but the transition in their dynamic is so stark from 2014 to 2015. Also, JK often talks about JM's cuteness and seems to be attacked by it...JM often talks about how he's JK's play toy and how he likes to be scolded by him. This isn't just my assumption JIkook have both confirmed this dynamic and we can see the beginnings of it starting in 2015.

Jikook are intimate: This becomes very clear towards the end of 2016 videos and on...like have you ever known a person before they've had sex and after? Or better yet have you ever seen a couple before they've been intimate and after? There's a clear shift in their behavior towards one another after they've had sex. I mean the touching, proximity, possessiveness, all of it increases. There's also a greater degree of familiarity and physical boundaries blur. You see this all happen with Jikook starting towards the end of 2016-> their physical interactions increase, they no longer seem to care about things like rubbing up against each other even when they're both sweaty, JK becomes increasingly possessive over JM and follows him everywhere, the staring OMG the staring increases so much...I mean look at JK during Fire era...I think this was pre-sex Jikook because the boy looks ready to risk it all in some clips.

I could say more like the difference between JIkook pre and post GCFT and how they are now settling into a domestic era... but the post is way more than long enough. I will just end with this...the quantity and quality of Jikook footage out there debunks literally every anti claim there is. I don't care that there's not much 2023 Jikook content---JM has been busy as hell, what do people expect? And even if he wasn't busy and we had zero content this year that still wouldn't mean Tk are a thing or that jikook broke up. What these timelines show us is how consistently close Jikook are, their growth and development and relational maturity. No other ship alive has what we have! So all the antis and insecure jikookers can Stfu!

I will only add to say that i think the deed had happened by 2016. Might even speculate that's what 8/11/15 is about. And before that most prolly other things were already happening. There was certain behaviour and tension that points to this in 2015. But other that anon, this.... all of this...